I grew up in a beautiful upper-middle class neighborhood called Crestwood. My happiest memories are from this time in my life. My best friend lived on the same street as me and we were always together. My saddest memories are from this time in my life, too. My parents got divorced when I was 7, eventually causing my mom to have to sell our log-cabin-style house 6 years later. I had to leave my friends and my memories behind in that home. It was probably the first time I realized that my parents weren't getting back together like in The Parent Trap.
When I was about 10, my brother, who is 4 years older than me, got into drugs and spent time in and out of rehab. It's funny because, I mean, it's almost 10 years later and I still have trouble writing about this topic. Throughout all of middle school and high school, my brother was battling drug addiction. When I should have been acting like a kid and enjoying my middle and high school years, I had to act like an adult. I had to see and deal with things that I shouldn't have had to experience. Fort Worth will always hold a piece of that childhood that I missed out on. Sometimes when I drive past a place I used to go in middle school, I'll think of the pain and confusion that I was experiencing.
The private school that I went to is a vital part of my life in Fort Worth. All Saints' Episcopal School was my home away from home - a place that I could escape from the problems that surrounded my family. It was a source of consistency in a life that had almost no consistency. I was a "Lifetime Saint" which means that I attended All Saints' from Kindergarten through my Senior year. Before I graduated, I never stopped to realize that I was so opposed to change. I loved All Saints' because it was always the same - it was something in my life that never changed. My family life would change, my friends would change, my interests would change... but All Saints' always had the same familiar people, same familiar places, etc. I also think I used school as an escape for my emotions. I was always a straight-A student and well-liked by my teachers and friends. School was a place where I was in control. No parents or siblings could ruin my success in school because I was in control. So I put every emotion that I had into my school work. This feeling of safety and success is what ultimately made me want to stay in Fort Worth and go to TCU, another private, Fort Worth school.
Through all the pain and hardship that I have experienced in this home, I learned how to cope. I learned that bad things don't just happen to JUST happen to me and that, sometimes, good things come from even the worst of experiences. My brother ended up going to jail my senior year of high school. He spent his 21st birthday with me and my mom, eating a vending machine cupcake in a prison in Breckinridge, TX. However, I was so happy in this weird circumstance that should have been terribly upsetting. I hadn't seen him clean and happy in so long. This was the first time that I felt completely free from the worrying about my brother that constantly haunted me. I knew he was going to be alright. It has been 2 years since then, and I am happy to say that he is still sober and doing great. Now I am actually thankful that I experienced so many hardships because I am so much stronger because of it. Fort Worth is a symbol to me of that strength and resilience.
Fort Worth is a place where I experienced so much... how could I ever leave? My heart is here.
Senior year right before graduation
All Saints' Varsity Cheer Squad at the University of Texas
Cheer Camp
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